Okay, this is getting to me, really.

I feel so weird.
Like I'm so sick and I still cant go to the doctor's.
I simply hate my dad, really.

The difference between poly life and secoundary school?
The grades system.

A 71 would have meant an A in secondary school, however, sadly, in poly, its a freaking B.
Also a 66 would have meant a B but here, its a C.
So, no matter how fun polytechnic life maybe, it still sucks to a certain percent. And you know that.

Here's to three more years in pain and love,

Cheers people!

Xoxo.

I’m just a small town girl, waiting for my break.
Seriously, I want to be someone in life.
I want to achieve something in this lifetime.
Something big.
There’s like a huge gaping abyss somewhere and it doesn’t feel good at all.
It makes me weak and miserable.
I want to find a cure for it soon.
I may sound dumb or lame, but this is what I want so stand by it or get lost.
Okay, I have no idea what I’m talking but something big is going to happen.
Just wait and see.

A lunar eclipse occurs when the moon passes behind the earth such that the earth blocks the sun’s rays from striking the moon.

I saw the greatest lunar eclipse from my window today. It looked beautiful and felt awesome but at the same time, real freaky.

It feels weird but everyone in the world, sees the same moon but yet, we're so different.
Too different, actually.


The realisation struck me with a blow.

Hi. I bet my previous post made me sound so desperate.
Well I'm not, I was just merely stating the truth.
Actually I feel alot like Mercedes Jones from Glee.
But dont even think about it. Never am I gonna fall for a gay guy, no offence meant please.
I should be studying now.
I feel troubled, really.
Maybe I am pmsing but who cares, I am feeling cranky so, go away.
Hahaha, I sound like a threat.
Okay I'm talking cock.
Should I go on omegle?
The last time I went on there, it was someone from India.


You: Hello.
Stranger: Hi.
You: Asl plz?
Stranger: Asl.
Stranger: 20 m India
You: 17 f Singapore
Stranger: What's your name?
You: Kanages
Your conversation partner has disconnected.


Yeah, he disconnected at the sight of my name.
And I got scolded for watching vampire diaries, apparently they're sleazy and there's too much sex and I'm like, whatever, seriously.
Btw, Damon is hottt. Stefan is hotterrrr.
Oh yeah, RIP MJ.
How was it like to die?
Should have felt good.
Haha, I finally plucked up the courage to join CASS Idol.
Yes, email is sent.
Okay, I'm gonna go watch vampire diaries.
No studying today.
Will do that tomorrow, meeting the babez for Design Basics.
Oh yeah, is there rehearsal tomorrow?
God, I actually miss going for rehearsals.
Well, Adious.

I guess this is how you feel when the world goes upside down and turns against you.

The urge and desire to be with a man is overwhelming me.

Yes, I want a man in my life, so freaking bad.
I bet I sound all desperate but hey, I doubt any guy has a single crush on me for atleast an hour.
What's wrong with me?
I am smart, witty, funny, adorable and pretty.
Sounds like I'm perfect but isnt that the whole point?
Someone who thinks I'm perfect and flawless.
The only disadvantage that's so freaking obvious is my weight, or more likely, my physical appearance.
I am fat, no one's denying that.
But how can guys be so naive and use that as a reason to think, and not to know but think, I'm a turnoff?
I know of so many guys say I'm pretty, hot, special to them, blah, blah, blah.
Of course, they're my friends only.
I'm that funny girl next door who bakes you cookies and makes them smile and tell them they are still loved when their girlfriend of god know how many years ditches you.
I'm so sick of being that. Of being special and feel beautiful but dont feel it at all.
I wanna be that special someone who makes me laugh and my eyes sparkle.
I think soon enough, even bff, who looks more gorgeous day by day will get kissed and I'll be the only member of the Never Been Kissed club.

Seeking the love of my life, never knew it'd be such a hassle.

I asked my bestfriend why she likes me and this is what she said:

♥Kanages

210610

Will you cry if I kill myself?
Or if i just die?
Will you cry because you feel sorry for me?
Or because you feel sorry for my family?
Or because you dont know how you're going to cope with the loss?
Haha, dont worry, I want kill myself.
I was just, you know, thinking.

I dont get it, I just dont get it.
Everything's so screwd up.
And I dont know why.
I just wanna blame him for everything.
But is everything he's fault?
Is he the reason for every fucked up thing?
I feel so confused and fucked up.
Nothing's going right.
I feel like giving up.
I dont wanan go through this again.
I feel so fucking troubled.
I have no patience or whatsoever for all this.
If you're feeling down, I also have all fucking rights to feel fucked up and unwanted.
She didnt think about me too.
And you're the only thing I have.
How could you just tell me that you wont die and will come back.
If you feel unloved, I feel more that way.
Atleast, you have a sister who loves you dearly and will give her life for you.
But for me, even my sister is not understanding me.
That feeling sucks.
Like you're alone and nothing matters and you feel like dying.
I feel like dying.

I want someone to hold me, and tell me I smell good.
I want someone to hug me from the behind, play with my hair and whisper in my ear and make me giggle.
I want someone to hold my hands and say I'll never let go.
I want someone to look into my eyes and never get bored.
I want someone to laugh at me when I mess up.
I want someone to scold me when I err.
I want someone to advise me when I'm dead confused on what to do.
I want someone to cry to when everything's so screwd up at home.
I want someone to lend his shoulder when I need it.
I want someone to wipe away my tears and tell me it's all going to be okay.
I want someone to look at me and say you look beautiful even when I look like a lorry just ran over me.
I want someone to just talk to me on the phone all night long about nothing in particular.
I want someone to make me smile even when I don't want to.
I want someone to just be there and love me with all his heart and never expect anything in return at the end of the day.

I just neeed that someone to lift me off the ground and spin me higher and higher.
I dont wanna sound desperate but I need him and whoever you are, come to me soon.
I just cant wait any longer.

I hate you so fucking much.
Because of you, mom gets upset over nothing and everything.
Because of you, we're fighting.
Because of you, I cry myself to sleep almost everynight, thinking about how screwd up my life is.
Because of you, I feel poor.
Because of you, I feel embarrassed.
Because of you, My mother had to forget about peace.
Because of you, My sister has to suffer.
Because of you, My brother lost his childhood.
Because of you, I'm vary of men.
Because of you, I feel like doing wrong things.
Because of you, I feel like a failure.

No matter how much I tell myself I'm not going to be bothered by you, ypu give me painful reminders through your actions that I hate you so much. I wish I never had a father like you. I'd rather have no father than have one and feel so lost.

I hate it when you talk to me in english coz i fucking know you're not alone.
I hate it when you give me crocodile tears and say you love us.
Because I know that just 5 minutes later, you'll be doing or thinking about something that would contradict the statement.
I hate it when you discipline me coz I know what kinda discipline brought you up like that.
I hate the sweet nothings you tell my mom that is so fake that makes me wanna bleed.
I hate it when you lie that you overslept when deep down, I know you were up to something.
I hate it when you do all the fucking crimes in the world and then you justify it by telling mom that you had not done something out of the blue and it was perfectly normal to do so and she also beleives it.
I hate it when I feel so ashamed to be your daughter and you still claim to be a proud father of three.
I despise the fact that, after all that we've done, you still have the cheek to curse us.

You are the reason for my anger.
You are the reason for my hatred.
You are the reason for my tears.
You are the reason for our downfall and screwd up life.

You are my villian, dad.
And I hate you with all of my life.
Thank you so fucking much.

I feel loved alright, I got ROSES, 3 ROSES from my lovely lady friends! I love them so many many much! I also got earrings and charm bracelets and ket chains and so many cards. Hahahah, so sweetttttt of them!!! I love them all so much! DMC/1A/04 rocks!

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!

Dancing queen, young and sweet, only 17!

I was surprised at 12 midnight by my whole family with a cake and candles and stuff and an awesome card with wishes from everyone. It was just so sweet of them.
So many ppl have wished me and I'm thinking to myself, so sweet of these pplz. I feel so loved.♥

Woah. Did you see the look on his face?
It was so lit up and happy. Like he was in heaven.
I'm a hundred and one percent sure he was talking with her or something like that.
This is just so irritating because this is not his fault, or mine.
So being angry is not the right thing to feel.
I should just live with what I have and whenever he smiles at me, I'll return the smile with a genuine smile, thinking that it was never meant to be.
Though I feel like screaming at him to talk to me like he does to her, it'll never happen because he doesnt love me.
He'll never hold my hand and tell me he loves me, because he doesnt.
He'll never walk me home when its late at night, because he doesnt want.
He'll never kiss me goodnight and say i'll dream of you because he wont.
And I dont care, though that's a lie.

Wtf is wrong with him?
Go tee jong yourself la.
Stupid ass.
Sigh...
Nothing's going right.
From love to school to home to future,
nothing's right at all.